i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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