Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
