you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
