Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am midnight drunk by noon
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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