I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
