He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
