He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We talked him into tasing himself.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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