Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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