Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
