i would punch a child for taco bell
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
