Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
