There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
