i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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