I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
