Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I wanna come home

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

And do what?

(270): View more from Kentucky

Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.

Fav 4 2765 928
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?

Fav 39 2631 3393
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(239): View more from Florida

My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.

Fav 13 1751 4708
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(517): View more from Michigan

You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins

Fav 19 6212 1247
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(205): View more from Alabama

She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.

Fav 5 1206 2735
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(316): View more from Kansas

I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.

Fav 6 1482 724
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(609): View more from New Jersey

The problem with that is that my car has been stolen

Fav 3 881 1759
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(256): View more from Alabama

Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016

Fav 1 74 17
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(910): View more from North Carolina

But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.

Fav 0 34 8
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