he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
