Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Can you bring me the toilet please
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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