I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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