did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
