Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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