Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
