Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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