South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
