i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
