we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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