only you would photoshop your dick
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
