Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
