hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
