She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
