This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
