he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
