Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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