u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
