I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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