she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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