i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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