: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
