Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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