Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
