we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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