It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
