so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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