South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize