I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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