Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
