hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she looked like the before picture.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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