You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
