So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
