Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
