Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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